The Secret Ingredient — How PSYCH-K® Became My Mental Game Coach

Where PSYCH-K® meets the golf course. Freeing the mind, one swing at a time. 🕊️⛳

In my last post I told you about the spark, the morning my cells woke up, my eyes opened without a fight, and I saw a piece of blue sky and couldn't wait to get to the driving range. That spark became a fire. And like any fire, once it was lit, the real question became: how do you keep it burning? How do you stack the wood properly, leave enough air for the flames to breathe, and turn a flicker of desire into something that endures?

For me, the answer was method. And the method I turned to was one I had been using with my clients for years: PSYCH-K®.

Before I tell you what I did, I want to introduce you to a book.

During my life coach training with Coaching Development, one of the most demanding and rewarding things I have ever done, not least because it required me to dig deep into my own abyss before I could support others, we worked through a remarkable book called The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey. Despite its title, it has almost nothing to do with tennis. It is a philosophy of learning, performance and the human mind that applies to every skill, every sport, and arguably every area of life.

The book that changed how I think about learning, performance and the human mind. Required reading for anyone who wants to get out of their own way. 🎾 or 🏌️‍♀️

Gallwey introduces two characters who live inside every one of us. Self 1 is the conscious, analytical, critical mind: the one that issues instructions, judges every mistake, overthinks every movement, and generally gets in the way. Self 2 is the subconscious, instinctive, playful mind: the one that actually does things, that learned to walk and ride a bike and catch a ball without a single conscious instruction. Self 2 is a capable, natural learner. It learns best through imitation, through play, through feeling and not through endless technical instruction.

The central insight of the book is this: the more Self 1 interferes, the worse you perform. The quieter Self 1 becomes, the more brilliantly Self 2 can express itself.

I have never forgotten this framework. And when golf entered my life with real intention, when I found myself on the driving range with a new coach and a brand new burning desire to discover just how good I could become, I knew immediately which tools I was going to use.

My coach, Matt Kirby, a PGA Professional, is a wonderful teacher. Not just because he knows golf, but because he instinctively understands how the body and mind learn together. He showed me the correct movements, but more than that: he described them in ways that spoke directly to the subconscious mind.

"End the swing with kissy knees," he said at one point. And I knew, the moment he said it, that this was exactly the kind of language Self 2 understands. Not a technical description of weight transfer and hip rotation, but an image, a feeling, a playful instruction that the body can simply do.

The subconscious mind communicates in images and emotions, not in words and bullet points. Matt's coaching, often without either of us consciously realising it, was speaking that language.

My job was to take what he gave me and make sure it went somewhere it could really take root.

In PSYCH-K®, a balance is a process that communicates a new belief, intention or skill directly to the subconscious mind, bypassing the critical Self 1 and speaking straight to the capable Self 2. It is faster and more direct than hypnotherapy, and in my experience, remarkably effective when the goal statement is precise and emotionally resonant.

I wrote six goal statements based on Matt's coaching, and I balanced each one:

🏌️‍♀️ My golf swing flows easily and effortlessly from L to L.

🏌️‍♀️ My hands are in the same position at the beginning and end of the swing.

🏌️‍♀️ I remember to open the club face when I play with an iron.

🏌️‍♀️ My swing starts in my legs and ends with kissy knees.

🏌️‍♀️ I swing in a straight line.

🏌️‍♀️ I always remember to stay relaxed and see the fun in golf.

That last one may be the most important of all.

The process of balancing each statement is deeply personal and the experience varies from person to person. Some people feel nothing at all. Some see images or colours. Some feel their body move spontaneously, or sense a weight quietly lifting. Some take a long, slow breath at the end and simply know that something has shifted. For me, I visualise the process while repeating the goal statement internally: I feel the movement, make it as real as I can in my body and my imagination until I feel that I've got it. That moment of inner recognition is unmistakable when it comes.

And the whole process takes just a few minutes. That's one of the things that still amazes me about PSYCH-K®, the speed at which the subconscious mind can accept and integrate a new belief or skill, once you know how to speak its language.

Once the balance is done, Self 2 knows what it is aiming for. It has the blueprint. All the body needs then is practice: repetition, muscle memory, time on the mat. But now it is practicing with the support of a subconscious mind that already sees itself doing it right.

A word about these statements: they are completely personal to me, and that is precisely the point. Goal statements in PSYCH-K® work because they evoke vivid inner imagery and genuine emotion in the person who balances them, and that is entirely individual. Another golfer working on the same aspect of their swing might use completely different words and images, and their statements would be just as valid and just as effective. To an experienced golfer, "kissy knees" might raise an eyebrow, but for me, that phrase conjures an immediate, felt sense of exactly the movement my coach was describing. My subconscious knows precisely what it means, and that is all that matters. The language has to be yours. The feeling has to be real. The image has to land in your body, not just in your head.

Alongside the skill-based balances, I also worked on something equally important: quietening Self 1.

I let go of the need to execute every swing perfectly at the first attempt. I made peace with the process of learning, with the imperfect shots as much as the beautiful ones. I trained myself to stay in the present moment: if a swing went badly, I let it go completely, and approached the next one with a clear, free and peaceful mind. No carrying forward of frustration, no mental replaying of mistakes. Just the next ball, the next swing, the next moment.

This is where PSYCH-K® and The Inner Game of Tennis meet. Both are asking the same thing of you: trust the capable mind, quiet the critical one, and get out of your own way.

The results came quickly. Noticeably quickly. Each small tweak showed its effect almost immediately, because my subconscious was already primed to receive it.

I want to share something that has surprised and delighted me about this whole process: how different it feels to learn as an adult who chooses to learn, compared to a child who is told to practice.

I played hockey, handball and tennis as a teenager. I was good at all of them. But I never truly enjoyed the practice, because I couldn't appreciate my own incremental progress. I remember hating the recorder as a child, it took too long to sound like anything pleasing, and I had no patience for the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be.

Today, my experience with Golf is completely different. Every small improvement is something I notice, celebrate and feel proud of. The joy is in the journey itself, in the session where my wedge suddenly flies high and straight and stops dead, in the morning when I extend my backswing and feel the extra club speed, in the conversation with my coach in the shop where a tiny grip adjustment produces a better result the very next day.

PSYCH-K® has been part of this too. Not just in programming the movements, but in helping me enjoy the process rather than being impatient with it. That last goal statement — I always remember to stay relaxed and see the fun in golf — might be doing more work than all the others combined. 😄

My Finland cap, my iron, my PSYCH-K® toolkit — and a golf course full of possibility ahead. This is what it looks like when the mental game and the physical game work together. 🏌️‍♀️🌿

Now, what does this mean for you?

PSYCH-K® is most often thought of as a tool for releasing limiting beliefs, for working through old wounds, shifting self-worth, overcoming fears. And it absolutely is all of those things.

But it is also a remarkably powerful tool for skill acquisition: for any sport, any practical ability, any area of life where you want to accelerate your learning and get out of your own way.

As long as you can describe the process or the desired skill in vivid, emotional, sensory terms - as long as you can feel it as well as think it - you can communicate it to your subconscious mind. And once your subconscious is on board, your conscious mind can relax, your inner critic can become your biggest cheerleader, and the learning happens with a kind of ease and joy that is genuinely extraordinary to experience.

Are you working on a skill you'd love to accelerate? A sport, an instrument, a professional ability? Or perhaps there's an inner critic who needs a career change? 😊

I would love to explore what PSYCH-K® could do for you. Feel free to reach out, there is no pressure, just an open conversation.

And if you are a golfer curious about what PSYCH-K® golf coaching could do for your game, I would be delighted to have that conversation. 😊

And in the meantime - the next post in this trilogy will bring it all together: mind, body, and cellular nutrition working as one. Because as I am discovering, the whole really is so much greater than the sum of its parts. 🌿

Love and light, Tanya 🤗

PS: While searching for an image of The Inner Game of Tennis for this post, I made a delightful discovery: Timothy Gallwey has also written The Inner Game of Golf and The Inner Game of Music. Considering that golf and music are two of my greatest passions right now, I couldn't help but smile at the synchronicity! If you'd like to explore his philosophy further, all three books are available on Amazon. I have a feeling I'll be reading both very soon... 😄🏌️‍♀️🎸